Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
