I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
