I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
