We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
