the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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