Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm just crazy horny about you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
