I wanna passion pit in your ass
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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