Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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