is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
