If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
