lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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