I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
