Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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