omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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