Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
