She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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