I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
