I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
