My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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