i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
