So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
