hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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