Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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