fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
