eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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