is wine microwaveable?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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