She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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