'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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