Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
