also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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