I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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