Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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