I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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