do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
