How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
