he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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