Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
