got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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