The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
