Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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