Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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