Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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