The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
my liver is dry heaving
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
