I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
be right there i have to get my cape
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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