so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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