Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
