dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
