I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
