your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When are your genitals available?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
