Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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