how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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