Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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