I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
