allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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