The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
