I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
