I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
