I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
