normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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