I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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