I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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