So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
