Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
