he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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