literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize