We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
